Being a Dad Is Not as Easy as I Thought It Would Be – Paternal Postpartum Mood Disorder

avril 21, 2023

As new or expecting parents, we’re told that welcoming a new baby should be one of the best times of your life; but the reality is that many people don’t feel that joy right away. Between pregnancy and up to the first year after birth, 1 in 10 men will experience Paternal Postpartum Mood Disorder (PMD). PMD in Dads is a newer concept that isn’t talked about very often and is not able to be formally diagnosed like PMD in women, but that doesn’t make it any less real.

There are many factors that can contribute to PMD in men. Birth can be a traumatic experience, and watching your partner go through the challenges of childbirth can leave you feeling helpless and scared for the health of your family. After bringing baby home, adjusting to life with a newborn can be a huge transition that leaves many people feeling isolated and unsupported.

Research has shown that having a partner who is experiencing PMD can also increase the risk for men. It’s important to remember that PMD is a real and treatable condition, and seeking support and guidance from healthcare professionals, family, and friends can make a world of difference.

On This Page:

• Signs of Paternal Postpartum Mood Disorder
• Mental Health and Paternal Postpartum Mood Disorder Resources for Dads
• Hear from a Dad
• Dads Programs at BridgeWay

Signs of Paternal Postpartum Mood Disorder:

• increased anger or conflict with others
• increased substance use
• frustration or irritability
• isolation from family and friends
• impulsive behaviour/taking risks
• working constantly
• fatigue
• sudden increase/decrease in weight
• thoughts of suicide

If you or someone you know are experiencing any of these symptoms, please connect with your family doctor. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, you can call the 24/7 Crisis Support Line run by Canadian Mental Health Association’s Peel Dufferin branch at 905-278-9036.

Mental Health and Paternal Postpartum Mood Disorder Resources for Dads

• Peel Postpartum Mood Disorder Program
• Fathers Mental Health
• Postpartum Support – Help for Dads
• Heads Up Guys
• Postpartum Men

I was feeling left behind, lonely, and to be honest, angry…
Something was wrong but I had no idea how to fix it.

You’re Not Alone

One of our clients has shared their experience with Paternal Postpartum Mood Disorder, hoping to break down the barriers surrounding men’s mental health and encourage others to seek help.

We were so excited to find out my wife was pregnant.  We did all the things, we signed up for prenatal classes, bought all the necessary things and couldn’t wait to meet him.

We were ready for everything except for the reality of bringing our baby home.  It was hard, it was lonely, and my wife started feeling overwhelmed, I was feeling overwhelmed.  I couldn’t seem to help her the way she needed.  I felt like I was failing her and our son.

 I searched for support for her, went to her appointments and found someone at BridgeWay to connect her to programs and other moms.  She started feeling some relief that she was being heard and supported and I was so relieved for that, but I still wasn’t feeling myself.  I was feeling left behind, lonely, and to be honest, angry.  I had encouraged her to tell her doctor, to ask her family for support and help but I didn’t know I could do this too.  I wasn’t feeling depressed or anxious like she was, but I know I wasn’t feeling right.  I tried to give more of my focus to my job, maybe I was just stressed about money but that made things worse at home.  My wife finally asked me if we were ok.  She felt I was distant, angry and not wanting to be home with her or our son.  Hearing her ask if I wasn’t happy with her or our new baby was devastating.  Something was wrong but I had no idea how to fix it. 

I always wondered what a group of moms talk about.  They talk about their babies, their family and me (partners).  That’s what I learned one day when she came home from one of her mom groups.  When she started to express her concern about how I was acting, she heard about how dads can also go through Postpartum.  What’s new information without the confirmation from Google?  We Googled and went through the symptoms that men may experience, and it felt very close to home. 

Now what?  Maybe I was experiencing this, but what can I do about it?  I really didn’t want to talk about it, I just didn’t want to feel it anymore.  I have to admit, I felt some relief just knowing that maybe this is what it was and maybe I would find ways to cope like my wife did but I had no idea where to look.  I left it at that.  It wasn’t easy on our relationship and we were all having a hard time.  I hate to say I was stubborn but something kept me from reaching out for support and although we are all past this, looking back, I would have found support.  I would have welcomed support in any form.  This isn’t just something moms experience, dads do too.

– BridgeWay Dad

Dads Programs at BridgeWay

BridgeWay is a place where many parents have found valuable community and support. Wherever you are in your parenting journey, BridgeWay is here for you.

Just for Dads is a program where you can connect with other fathers that are also learning more about their role as a parent. Come share your thoughts and concerns about parenting, ask questions, and meet other dads in your community.

Are you looking for something to do with your little one while meeting other dads in the community? Join us for Playtime with Dad!